Are you still waiting for me, Mom?

She’d be at the window. Resting on her elbows, looking out expectantly, forlornly even. I often wondered what my mom was thinking about as she gazed out, waiting for me to come home from work. You see, after my only brother died in 1981, there was a huge void in my mother’s life that even I, the dutiful daughter, could not fill. Mom’s depression lightened a little with the passage of time but she was never the same and passed on in 1987.

Flash forward to my life now. I rescued my much wanted and wished for tabby cat. He is a joy, full of life and boyish spunk. And he has an interesting habit. Baccarat loves to perch on the edge of our leather sofa, paws hanging over the edge, staring pensively out the window.

So I’ve asked myself…could my Mom’s spirit have come back into this sweet four-legged companion of mine? I asked @intuitvebridge and Bridget said although a rare occurrence, it does happen. It would be rather ironic, my mom, having been afraid of cats.

I guess I’ll never really know for certain, but the thought is somehow comforting to me.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom ! Wherever you are

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13 responses to “Are you still waiting for me, Mom?

  1. Jody Schoger // May 10, 2010 at 6:43 pm | Reply (edit)

    A sweet post — thank you so much. I’m so sorry about both your brother and Mom, but glad that Baccarat (awesome name!) is brings you joy and lovely memories.
    Jody

    *

    canadianchristine // May 12, 2010 at 6:58 pm | Reply (edit)

    Thank you, Jody. Such is life and death, I guess. Glad you like our pussycat’s name. He is as precious and elegant as the game. 🙂

  2. #

    George Bolam // May 11, 2010 at 4:51 pm | Reply (edit)

    Nice piece, nice thought..who knows? The world, as I have often said, is a funny old place.. 🙂
    #

    canadianchristine // May 11, 2010 at 6:34 pm | Reply (edit)

    Is the answer to that “Only the shadow knows”? 😉 Thank you, George, for responding; very much appreciated.

  3. Jan Tallent // May 12, 2010 at 6:14 pm | Reply (edit)

    Christine, what a touching story. Hopefully, it gives you some comfort with even the “maybe” of your Mom’s soul being recycled in your cat – AND doubly so as she was afraid of cats before, how suiting if this is so.

    Jan 🙂
    XO

  4. whymommy // May 15, 2010 at 10:22 am | Reply (edit)

    How sweet. I think the fact that the cat reminds you of her, in whatever way, is such a special gift.

    Don’t we all wish to be remembered in some way?

  5. Susan // May 29, 2010 at 11:14 am | Reply (edit)

    Love it!

  6. I believe that we can return as another creature. The fact your Mum was not a cat fan has really no bearing on it. Cat’s are not normally keen on other cat’s anyway.

  7. How lovely…if it soothes you and feels like the feelings your Mam would give you then I feel it likely that she is somewhere somehow helping you.
    Since my Dad died for some reason I feel his presence around birds… and if digging in the garden and a robin hops onto my spade handle then I talk to it as I would my Dad…there is another story about my Dad but it will do for later (It would be his 77th birthday on Friday)
    With love David x

  8. Hi
    Thought I would wait to tell this tale today on my Dad’s 77th birthday.

    …as promised I am back, with the further adventures, should call them Dadventures, a funny little story…which has a similar flavour to yours I feel.

    My Dad, Norman, died suddenly one sunny April day in 1975 (my head won’t let me remember the number…either the 17th or the 27th!…despite standing looking at the grave stone!)
    …and my life was never to be the same.
    At 13 I was lost and confused…rocked as any child who looses their parent.
    But I was also unsure what to do with all these strange feelings…and I couldn’t cry. I remember well my Dad telling me of his own Dad’s death, my grandad, and I cried but was 7 and thought it was expected.
    So I assumed I would just sob weep and cry myself to sleep and breakdown all over the place. My Mam, bless her, was a wreck and fell to bits, my older sister, Gillian also seemed to be able to ‘do it properly’ but somehow my tears seemed to be frozen…I went to school the nest day and even felt a bit famous with this incredible news…then I got a headache, a migrainous headache and was so sick…this lasted for 2 weeks.
    Moving on to perhaps a year later I started having awful visual vivid nightmares. I would see my Dad and knowing he was dead and there for a ghost I would wake up the house screaming!
    One time this happened and I woke up and looked up and my Dad’s body was within the wood grain of my wardrobe doors, in a shroud of Turin sort of way. When I saw this I again screamed…and again woke up… to see my Dad there beside me sat on the bad. I jumped out of bed and ran around the upstairs of the house waking my sisters and terrifying my Mam.
    Nightmares of this type and magnitude continued in various forms but always Dad and always leaving me scared…so much so that I was scared to sleep. This went on for about 6 years.

    Then one night I had a dream.
    My Grandma, Norman’s Mam, who had now died herself, appeared in this dream. She was the most beautiful sould and least scary person I knew.
    So I didn’t wake up screaming but stood in her hall way and she spoke saying…your Dad is in the living room and wants to talk to you cos he misses you so much… but he knows he scares you…you shouldn’t be scared he is your Dad and he loves you…with that she opened the door and there was my Dad…and no screams we spoke…I don’t know, and i don’t think it mattered what we said, but I didn’t wake up screaming.

    Since that dream I have never had any of those nightmares again.
    On telling this tale people have interpreted it in lots of ways…spiritually and psychologically…
    In the end my head finally got more sorted and I moved on.

    Happy Birthday Dad x
    I love you and carry you with me inside me always

    • Dear David, How hard it was for all of you to lose Norman. Yet I think of how lovely it was that your grandma who had lost her son was the one who appeared to you in your dream. Your Mam is a lucky woman to have you for a son. Bless you ! I once had a dream where my Mom spoke a few words to me & I can still hear her voice. Dad did too. It is an eery experience but very special. I wish you no more nightmares ever again and only sweet dreams for a sweet man.

  9. Oh, Im so touch talking about Mom. Even though I didn’t grow up with my mother but I just appreciate how a mother love and take care of her child.

  10. Baccarat may have come into your life to help heal the grief you felt/feel for your mom. Who knows why or how his mannerisms are so reminiscent of your mom?

    Baccarat is showing you how resilient your heart is and how there is still heart-side “property” available to love yet, another being.

    This reminds me of when one of my nieces was born. As a baby, she would get a certain expression that I used to see on my grandfather’s face.

    • Thank you for your insight, Marianna; much appreciated and very comforting. Honoured that you shared your experience with your niece. A psychic many years ago said I would have just that experience remembering my father when a friend’s child was born. She said I will look into that baby’s eyes & see my Dad. Anxiously awaiting that blessed event. Namaste. In Light and Love.

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